Rat-Town

A couple of years back, I made a business trip to the historical (ehem more like "legendary") town of Hamelin, north of Germany. Hamelin is pronounced Hameln by the Germans, so I didn't realize at first that it was the same town, where the legendary Pied Piper lived.........

Not that it matters to me, I hate rats. I think the Bangsar folks should symphatize with the good people of Hamelin. (For you ppl who are unfamiliar: Bangsar is an urban housing estate in Kuala Lumpur, well known for its rat problem. The area is noted to be one of the most expensive and posh neighbourhoods in the district and well frequented by the expatriate community....as well as the rats)

Anyway, the town's pretty scary......looks like the folks there ought to demand reimbursement from the so-called rat catcher aka Pied Piper. Cause the rats didn't seem to have left at all !!!
There were rats everywhere !!

There were rats playing football.....

...Andy Warhol rats
















Can you spot the gay rat amongst the straight rats (hint: what's a gay rat's favourite color ?)
















....glittering rat waiting at the entrance to the breakfast buffet















......never knew that Mickey Mouse had a cousin....."Ricky the big fat Rat"















Hell, they even have a house for rats ! (Just kidding, it's the local city hall)















Long after the rats have taken over the town by storm, the Rat catcher aka Pied Piper has since retired and works as a bouncer by night.
















.....the river, where the rats drowned















....for those of you who can't resist the temptation to gamble,

here's what the local Lotto outlet would have looked like a 100 years ago....
















....local hangout for rats....the rat bar















The modern Pied Piper has discovered a new way to kill rats.........come
my little sweet ratsies, come follow me to....















.....McDonalds !!! The fastest way to kill rats....stuff their arteries with Trans fat



















What McDonalds would have looked like 100 years ago....















Unlike its other rat infested sister city, Bangsar in Kuala Lumpur, Hamelin is NOT very happening in comparison.
To give you a broad idea, here's what the Bangsar crowd would look like after 7 p.m.
















....in comparison a deserted night life in Hamelin after 7 p.m.
Can you spot any signs of life in the pictures below?
Even the restaurants are closed after 8 p.m. The rats come out only after 10 p.m.
















And here's what the town looks like at 9a.m. in the morning....
Looks like the rats have eaten all the tourists....
















...magnificent architecture though....
















I'm just glad to have survived Rat Town, as I like to call Hamelin.
In three words: quaint, cute and lonely. It leaves a ratty taste in my mouth.

So, if you ever happen to be in Northern Germany, and you encounter this sign at the highway exit.......















........just drive off as fast as you can.....and call the exterminator because the Pied Piper's out of business.

On some days, I am so hungry that I can eat a whole cow....
















...but being a health conscious vegetarian, I would settle for a banana......















...and after eating all that bananas I can't help but fall asleep on the job.

National Geographic in my backyard

When Sally, the canary......














met Harry, the tabby cat....















.....you knew, it wasn't a match made in heaven.

R.I.P. Sally.

Harry Potter Fans Beware! Criminal wizard commited $141k jewellery theft right under the noses of Muggle salesmen!

By Nova Lou


Muggle shopkeepers have seen a man walking away from the Raffles Jeweller in the Fullerton Hotel with a haul that included two diamond rings and a half-dozen other jewels after convincing the muggle staff he had paid for the baubles.
But the muggle "Pleasemen" (pronounced "Po-lise-men") said he had not actually parted with a cent.


The wizarding community has immediately classified this case as a serious offense under the Muggle-relation Act and as a case of using magic in the presence of Muggles. "Obviously, a confundus and a memory charm had been used on the poor Muggle shop manager and the shop keepers", says the Head of Muggle Relations in Singapore. In the correct sequence of events, the "Pleasemen" said a man walked into the jewellery store on Saturday, looked around, and left without making a purchase.

He returned the next day and spoke to the muggle shop's manager. The thief asked to buy four rings - including two encrusted with diamonds - two bracelets, two necklaces and two pairs of earrings totalling $141,300.
Claiming he had to get muggle money, the thief, accompanied by the muggle shop manager, went to the lobby of the hotel. The thief then used a confundus charm on the muggle shop keeper and apparated back to the shop, whereby using a memory charm, managed to convince the muggle shop keepers that he had paid for the jewels. Employees handed them over, and he walked out the front door.
It was only later the muggle manager and staffers realised the jewels had not been paid for.
Pleasemen said the thief remains at large. He was wearing muggle attire complete with blue suit and pants, was about 1.7m tall, and had a fair complexion.

Has anyone from the larger wizarding community seen this thief ? (Captured on Muggle cameras)






















The Straits Prophet

Celebrity Look-A-Like

Ok.....I'm getting the goosebumps. I look like Leonardo di Caprio by a freaking 52%. That's half my face ! I mean which part of my face looks like di Caprio ?? It's like telling a girl, that good looking guy is really into you, but he's actually your long lost brother.

Thank God, it's a face analyzer. If it was a crotch analyzer.....I'm spending my life savings on vaginal reconstruction.


















Oh shit, there's more ...what's worse...it's my best headshot.
And here's the result: I look like Rupert Grint.
Forget about the vaginal reconstruction....maybe I do need facial reconstruction.

The day will come that I have to wear childrens' sizes

Here's a revelation....
I went shopping today for branded sweaters and there was a winter sale in one of the largest European citites in the world. I tried on a few sweaters and they were much too big (There's a downpart to shopping in Europe when you're Asian.....you can never find your size !!)
I went to the Ralph Lauren section and the summer collection was simply smart and elegant but they costs over € 200. Too bad I thought, I would just have to wait for the summer sales.

As I crossed over to the ground floor I thought I saw the same sweater and a similar Ralph Lauren counter as the first floor...until I picked it up and saw it was a baby sweater. How cute. And then the same sweater again, for 12 - 14 year olds ! Sadly the choice of branded wear in the childrens's section was limited to either Ralph Lauren or Hilfiger. But still it was half the price of the adult sweaters. Laughing in my head, I thought why not try on a sweater for 12 year olds....and you know what even the L was too large....and I had to put on a medium. Baby pink. I couldn't believe my luck! Hey quality for a good price.

I was cheering myself for my ingenuity when I thought, holy shit....this is the year of the Rat! (OK, following a chinese superstition, the year of the RAT is supposed to bring opposed luck for those born under the Horse year, I've memorised the chinese horoscope from the time I could walk). And what's that famous Ralph Lauren label again ? A polo horse......
Although I'm not a Horse sign, but I didn't want to push my luck after I've just found it !!

So although I would never believe that walking under a ladder would bring bad luck, similarly I thought, I didn't wanna wear anything with a horse insignia and thought I'll pick a Tommy Hilfiger instead......
But then the thought of wearing a sweater with my father's first name on it seemed "uncool"....
So I dropped both sweaters.

I think I'm going to have convince Louis Vuitton to have a segment for kids :)

Nova's Top Ten....

How do you know if you're affected by the subprime crisis ?

You can't find your house keys after you've bumped into your loan officer
You're watching your loan officer drive away with your car
You're the loan officer and you've just received the pink slip
You're working for Bear Stearns and you're the only one at work, and you're the security guard.